July 5th, 2010
|02:36 am - Personal People Watching|
I have this habit of reading personal ads and I do it all of the time. For me it's kinda like this voyeuristic thing in a way but it's not exactly that either. I'm not sure if it's some unconscious response to the weird fact that most everyone in my family has the same sort of habit but only with the obituaries. I never got that and I still don't. I mean, it really kind of drives me crazy that they all do that. For me reading the obituaries is kind of depressing. You have to look at these usually crummy photos chosen by some family member and quite often they are of the person when they were a lot younger than they were when they died. I always feel bad for the people that only got a few sentences and I feel even worse for the ones that go on for a handful of column inches. In a way I guess my personal ad habit isn't a lot different but something that I also do is respond to them.
I did that the other night when I read one that was just pretty cool. I mean, even though I don't want to date anyone or anything like that I still thought I'd like to have someone like that as a friend. And even if not that then I at least wanted the person to know that someone on the other end of their ad thought they were cool. I just feel compelled to send some word of connection and when I read something that someone wrote in some personal ad that strikes me as honest and, in a way sort of moving even, I just write and say so. If I ever stopped to consider that this could be deemed as creepy or patronizing or even depressing for them that I write to say something complimentary but am not really in the market to take them up on the contents of their ad then I'd probably not do it. [Or maybe I wouldn't.]
It's sadly strange and beautiful all of the people out there that don't have someone but wish they did and it makes me feel close to them somehow. I think that people are quite often very fearful and very afraid but I also think that people can be so brave at times it's remarkable.
[Did any of that make sense?]
Current Location: Tucson
do you write to compliment the men on their ads as well? or just women?
I think it's probably a habit of mine now because it worked out so well for me as a kind of metta meditation, you know? Like in the time it takes to write some little electronic note to some person I am spending that time thinking of them and wishing them well and it doesn't matter if they are men or women. In fact I never really thought about that until now. I read through them all and respond to any that seem genuine I guess. I guess it's close to 65% women though. I think maybe that's because there are more ads to choose from. [I'm not sure though.]
well, on one hand i think it's very sweet.
At the same time, i know how honest and moving Your writing can be
and doesn't that sometimes lead to women (esp.) wanting to pursue a
correspondence (at least) or full-on want to meet you?
do you ever meet them?
and do you do this regardless of whether you're in a relationship yourself or not?
It's less complicated than that I'd imagine. I'm not into dumping mindgames or insults on anyone and am mindful of that possibility so I tread lightly. It's just a small hello from a stranger is all who saw something they wrote and thought it was nice and wanted to say so. Not much more.
I also figure the sheer tonnage of bullshit that sincere people must have to endure is probably staggering to some degree. It's better to be light.
Even though I barely get on here and you barely write nowadays, whenever you do, you're still an inspiration to me. I hope you don't feel as if I'm putting you on some sort of pedestal or that you have to live up to some ideal image I have of you. All I mean is I want to get somewhere that is close to where you are, be able to do the things you do out of the stories you tell, and to have gotten to a place like that while staying mostly sane and have some days where I am content.
I hope that made some sense.