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A Young Man's Primer on How to Attain the Leisure Class.

[In This Almost Empty Gin Palace.] or [This Desert Dhamma.]

23 September
"And so it was that the lotus-eaters devised not death for our fellows, but gave them of the lotus to taste. Now whosoever of them did eat the honey-sweet fruit of the lotus, had no more wish to bring tidings nor to come back, but there he chose to abide with the lotus-eating men, ever feeding on the lotus and forgetful of his homeward way...and be forgetful of returning."

[Haven't you noticed?]

"How can I put this? There's a kind of gap between what I think is real and what's really real. I get this feeling like some kind of little something-or-other is there, somewhere inside me like a burglar is in the house, hiding in a wardrobe and it comes out every once in a while and messes up whatever order or logic I've established for myself. The way a magnet can make a machine go crazy." - The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle - Haruki Murakami

I am named after a boat.

I cannot pass by an errant penny laying alone on some sidewalk or out in the street. I have no real choice but to stop dead in my tracks to pick it up and tuck it away in my pocket. I am the same exact way with hitchhikers except for the pocket part. They are both equally brave and unappreciated at the same exact time.

I am equally comfortable in near-complete silence as much I am in sharing smiles and segues. I have been impossibly rich and never looked at the price tag and I've had many occasion to dig around for change in the cushions of the couch to buy you a taco. You should know, right here and up front, before we run the risk of wasting anymore time that, I live back and forth between these places of plenty and of paltry and I am really pretty happy with this way of life. No kidding. [It keeps me honest.]

If you know me you have suffered. [Chances are I'm being entirely serious and literal with this one but, really, it's not to say that you've suffered because of me or because of knowing me but more that I just tend to gravitate towards people that have probably felt what crushing pain feels like and have, in spite of it all, pushed forward like a train beyond it.]

I change my mind so much and it has been said that Librans are the only inanimate object in the entire zodiac and that we are only able to really respond to outside forces. Something about that idea makes me feel sad but I do realize there is some truth to that. Maybe it's a matter of karma somehow and with me you'll usually get what you give and probably even doubly so. I don't have a clue really. I'm just saying.

I usually make most of the entries in these journals public but there are always a few things that I don't really feel like sharing with everyone in the known goddam universe so I do have a good handful of filtered entries and even my fair share of private entries. Eventually everybody sees everything I suppose but sometimes I like to play along with my own illusions of privacy if only for a little while. The older I get the less I care about what people think and how I might appear to others so I do wear my heart on my sleeve and I tend to be a bit careless with it sometimes.

One of the most useful things that I have found so far on the planet is this:

The thought manifests as the word;
The word manifests as the deed;
The deed develops into habit;
And habit hardens into character;
So watch the thought and its ways with care,
And let is spring from love
Born out of concern for all beings…

As the shadow follows the body,
As we think, so we become.

- From the Dhammapada: The Teachings of the Buddha

[Okay. Play nice. Be fair. Go slow. Do good. Choose love.]
"40", )'(, , 33, abandoned buildings, absinthe, adolf wolfli, almost empty gin palaces, anagrams, anti-product, auggie wren's photo album, autobiographical everything, avalokitesvara, bananafish, basquiat, big chief notepads, bill hicks, black rock desert, board games, books, buddha, burning man, candy jernigan, chai, chaos theory, chess, coen brothers, cryptography, documentaries, drowning not waving, eddie izzard, eels, elvis costello, enfp, fake words, fashionable hovels, figs, gaelic, ganesh, go, golden boots, golden ratio, gustav klimt, henry darger, hermann, hope sandoval, howard finster, hunter s. thompson, ignatius j. reilly, ignorant art, j.d. salinger, j.p. donleavy, jack kerouac, james joyce, jellyfish pancakes, jim white, john kennedy toole's ghost, joseph cornell, kindness ≠ weakness, kurt cobain, langston hughes' motto, latin palindromes, lenny bruce [not afraid.], leonard cohen, liner notes, lists, living outside haunted houses, lomo/lomography, lotus eaters, lou reed, love of things irreconcilable, lowbrow art, making lists and manifestos, manually alphabetizing my interests, mathematics, metallic blue-green suits, milk & cheese, missouri kids cuss, my cat mephisto, my cat zooey, neutral milk hotel, non-manipulation of the truth, northern exposure, notebooks, numbers, okkervil river, old bull lee, outsider/ignorant art, pablo neruda's pink book, painting, paul erdos, philip glass, physics, pi, piglets wearing lederhosen, poetry, prime numbers, psalm 88, pythagoras, r.e.m., requiem for a dream, richard feynman, rotary phones, secret solipsism, seymour glass, smartwentcrazy, solitary bees, spirals [not downward], st. louis, sue coe, talking heads album art, tao without the -ism, tattoos on crooked, tea as a ritual, the buddha nature, the desert on fire, the old mangia italiano, the unexpurgated code, thefanalyst.com, thermodynamics [all laws], thirty-three and one third, this almost-empty gin palace, this lovely desert life, tiny shrines, tired puffy morning eyes, titles as art, to repel ghosts, tom waits' fingers, tombstone skulls, tornadic piles of leaves, tower grove park gazebos, trash as canvas, truly unshared interests, tuscon spelled strangely, typography to a fault, u2, ulysses, uncle tupelo, used book stores, used books, van gogh's ear, vonnegut, wilco, yelling at bees, you, your big ideas, yutaka taniyama, zen nothing, करुणा