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[Stupid Bunny.] - A Young Man's Primer on How to Attain the Leisure Class.

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April 21st, 2003

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11:38 am - [Stupid Bunny.]
When I was a small child my Grandfather would tell me the story of Stupid Bunny. Stupid Bunny only ever wanted to be the Easter Bunny. He didn’t want to do the regular Bunny Things like eating carrots and starting a family and getting a regular sort of bunny job. Settling down into a nice and normal bunny life just wasn’t for him. For all of his life, since he was born, this very stupid little bunny wanted so desperately to be the Easter Bunny. Other bunnies would tease him and mock him and tell him that his dream was impossible and impractical but Stupid Bunny never listened to them and continued on with his dream.

Sadly, however, he was just not smart enough to ever be offered the official position of Easter Bunny. Year after year he tried out for the part and, sadly, every year he was denied the position. Apparently the application process was a long and grueling one and required submission deadlines and several stages of interviews and the whole lot. Without fail Stupid Bunny would somehow botch the application process and the official and coveted position of Easter Bunny would eventually go to some other more capable and qualified bunny candidate.

Since being the Easter Bunny was all that he ever wanted to do with his life and even though the job would always go to some other bunny Stupid Bunny wouldn't let that stop him from achieving his dream and following what was in his heart.

Passion does indeed lack thinking and Stupid Bunny had resigned himself to pursue his dreams regardless of official title or tradition or thanks or even notice. So what? He would go it alone. He would handle the whole Easter thing the way he wanted to. The way that Easter really should be. And so he followed his passion and jumped into action.

And it was because of Stupid Bunny that Easter has always been my favorite holiday. Easter trumped Christmas even. [And that has to be saying a lot for a kid to think that way, right?] It worked out that almost every single day for at least a solid week before Easter arrived I would get gifts and packages from Stupid Bunny. My Grandfather was an artist and an auto-mechanic and I would wait for him on the sidewalk in the front yard watching for him to come home from work. He would meet me smiling with the most odd-smelling packages and mysteriously-shaped parcels from the garage where he worked. Apparently Stupid Bunny would leave them there with my Grandfather to deliver to me later since, of course, it's sort of well known that in addition to never being able to get the dates down correctly Stupid Bunny was also never the best at remembering kids exact addresses.

Every day I would marvel at how much Stupid Bunny had to just love the idea of being the Easter Bunny. He was relentless in his work and it tickled me to no end. [Oh! The lengths this crazy bunny would go to in fulfilling his dreams!]

The real Easter Bunny comes around once every year and leaves you chocolates and colorfully decorated hard-boiled eggs all nestled nicely in a woven basket full of fake plastic grass. [Maybe you’d get a big box of Milk Duds or something if you were lucky.]

But Stupid Bunny on the other hand was almost always showing up in and around our neighborhood for sometimes even a week and a half before Easter and the things that he would do and the gifts that he would bring were always the most awesome and unexpected and unusual things you could ever imagine.

I’d get all sorts of crazy stuff from Stupid Bunny and the gifts I’d get from him usually did resemble something that the Easter Bunny would normally bring but you could tell he was just a little bit off. Instead of the usual basket full of fake grass and painted eggs I would get something like one of those big yellow Tonka dump trucks and it might be stuffed with something like real grass or Christmas tinsel and the bed of the truck would be filled with these sloppily painted rocks. It was somehow close to what you were supposed to get on Easter but it was just a little bit off. And so much cooler.

Sometimes I would get some really strange gifts from Stupid Bunny. Things like books about Vincent Van Gogh or Winslow Homer. Or a coloring book with nothing but sharks in it. [Hammerhead sharks are awesome!]

If there ever were some entirely awesome toy that you could somehow find a way to sort of cram a bunch of other stringy junk inside of and then fill it to near-bursting with anything in the universe that even came close to looking like it might be able pass as an Easter egg then it was a pretty safe bet that good old Stupid Bunny would probably be getting it for you. Stupid Bunny just loved anything that you could put other things inside of and I suppose that the idea that Easter had to include a lot of smaller items being carted around in some basket-like container was what he was going for.

Like that thing that adults do to kids where they try and prank them by putting all sorts of smaller sized boxes inside of each other and it looks like you're getting some really giant present but instead you have to sit around yanking off wrapping paper from a billion smaller-than-the-one-before sized boxes until you finally get to the last one that only has like a quarter or an orange in it. Or a brick so you'd get fooled into wondering if they actually got you a space rock like you asked for or if they are just doing the brick-prank again. And whatever Stupid Bunny did end up getting you he'd probably even try and paint it up for you too with some very awesome decorations and your own name in tiny painted letters. For two years in a row I even got those Star Wars action figure cases. First I think I got the Darth Vader one and it was very full with real live grass. [Not that fake plastic stuff! But real! Hoooo!]

The next time I got the C-3PO action figure carrying case that held about 35 of your best guys and all of their extra guns and stuff. And it even talked and had eyes that lit up! On top of all that I got the Emperor action figure that you could only get by sending in the proof that you bought a lot of other figures already. My friends and I never even saw that thing until Stupid Bunny gave it to me! I am not kidding! Hoooo!

I remember that my Grandpa would sometimes see him running outside past the window and we’d quickly jump up and run outside and try and catch at least a glimpse of him. He is a very fast runner, that Stupid Bunny, but I did see him a couple of times since I am a very fast runner too. On those days when we'd see him running away from our yard after hiding Easter eggs. And he hid them in some real stupid spots. I mean, like waaay up in a tree and out on a limb or just on the roof of the house. There was once an egg that Stupid Bunny hid in the toilet. And the ones that we could easily get to were just painted up all sloppy that they were all more like the same junky color. Like some were just painted kind of blackish and brown. Real junky looking. And I never really did mind that much if it was just rocks or dirt clods or something and not the eggs like the Easter Bunny would bring.

And then, of course, the regular Easter Bunny would come on Easter. Stupid Bunny never did show up on this Sunday. [Again, he must have been really bad at keeping the date right.] I’d get all the regular and boring Easter stuff and the day was pretty boring compared to what Stupid Bunny had always cooked up.

And then for days and days after Easter I’d still get gifts and stuff from Stupid Bunny. He’d bring cheeseburgers and pecan pie and fishing poles and baseball gloves. He’d leave me strange notes with crazy maps of the house and yard where I’d have to look for clues to where he buried my gifts.

It was entirely awesome.

And that is why Easter is totally my favorite holiday. With the normal Easter Bunny fare coming up on that one day and with Stupid Bunny staying around for weeks sometimes I always had so much fun.

To this day Easter is my very favorite holiday. I’ve since taken to pulling the whole Stupid Bunny routine on all of the kids in my family. I send them crazy cards in horrible handwriting from far-away places from Stupid Bunny. I share the idea and spirit of Stupid Bunny with people that I love and I’m sharing it all with you.

Tell all of the people in your life about him, won’t you? Pass this idea around to anyone that you know that might like it. My Grandfather was the most amazing person I’ve ever known and I’m sure he’d get a kick out of knowing that Stupid Bunny was still up to his usual antics.

[I send you love.]
Current Mood: nostalgicnostalgic
Current Music: Television talk show hosts on mute.

[14 flew over the cuckoo's nest. | Go crazy.]


Date:April 24th, 2003 07:52 pm (UTC)
you are a friendly god.
call me please.
[drinking wine]
thank you.
[User Picture]
Date:May 1st, 2003 02:14 pm (UTC)
Stupid Bunny is awesome. And i love your grandfather.
[User Picture]
Date:November 21st, 2004 12:04 pm (UTC)

:D :D :D

i love me some stupid bunny.

that makes my day. xo
[User Picture]
Date:November 21st, 2004 12:09 pm (UTC)
Stupid Bunny has made my life. The sort of goodness I aspire to achieve. I'm entirely pleased, overjoyed really, that you love him too.

[Thanks as usual for the kind words.]
[User Picture]
Date:November 21st, 2004 12:15 pm (UTC)

you have so quickly become this
little light in my life.

i am overjoyed for that. :)
[User Picture]
Date:December 2nd, 2004 11:50 am (UTC)
YAY! i like stupid bunny too!

Maybe one day I'll get to tell my kids about Stupid Bunny, and if we look, we might find him!

[User Picture]
Date:December 2nd, 2004 12:01 pm (UTC)
I don't have children yet and am not sure I will. [Ah, that conversation.] Still, I long for Stupid Bunny to become a hero for small children and kick-ass adults everywhere.

Please do tell your kids. Tell everyone you know. [My Grandfather is smiling at all of this.]
[User Picture]
Date:December 2nd, 2004 12:35 pm (UTC)
Oh, I don't have kids. I may not (be able to) have kids. (mmm...that is also a conversation.)

sometimes, though, moments like this- i quietly hope...maybe just because I like to think I'd be cool like your granddad.

(yup, i'm sure he is smiling- the internet is amazing like that, in strangers, Stupid Bunny lives on.)
Date:March 31st, 2008 03:40 am (UTC)
This is so freakin' awesome. May I link to it?
[User Picture]
Date:March 31st, 2008 06:16 am (UTC)
Thanks for saying so. Really. I think it is too and, yes, please do send it along in any way you'd like. I secretly love the idea of Stupid Bunny taking over Easter.
[User Picture]
Date:March 31st, 2008 03:08 pm (UTC)
Sheer glee!

(found this through ladyperegrine's journal)

(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
Date:March 31st, 2008 04:44 pm (UTC)
Last month I went to the gem and mineral show here in Tucson and I bought some dinosaur teeth and some fossils with the sole purpose of sending them off to my niece and nephew under the guise of Stupid Bunny.

For me it's turned into a reason to just continue on with random and strange goodness and nobody is safe from the reach of Stupid Bunny.

Yup. [And link away. Link away.]
[User Picture]
Date:March 31st, 2008 06:36 pm (UTC)
Vectored in from Lady Peregrine's journal, and I have to agree: this is awesome. :)
Date:April 1st, 2008 02:37 am (UTC)
Long live Stupid Bunny! I wish I'd seen this in time for Easter this year, but I will definitely help keep the tradition alive next year. What a wonderful legacy of love and creativity your grandfather has left for you! :-)

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